EASTER SUNDAY, 1973: Just before dawn in Kingsburg, California, six-year-old Gordon Swannson, asthmatic boy genius, gets his ass kicked by a spectral Easter Bunny--an event that sends his already hyperactive imagination spiraling toward paranoia. Gordon becomes convinced that ghosts and other weird entities inhabit a daimonic reality that can interact with our everyday world. He starts seeing mystery and danger everywhere in his isolated farming community. He even thinks his best friend, Jimmy, might be possessed by demons....

JUNE 7th, 1979:...

YALDABAOTH HAS A PROBLEM: a pesky author named Derek Swannson has been writing books that veer too close to the truth about the Lord of the Illuminati's underground activities on Earth.

Intent on destroying Swannson's reputation by fueling his gonzo appetites with the rewards of American capitalism, Yaldabaoth enlists the help of Jeb Beezos, the CEO of Glamazon--a global Internet juggernaut that's made Beezos one of the world's richest men--and Conye Best, a superstar rapper who happens to be married to the world's most famous reality TV star, Limn...