In the early 21st century, King Arthur - almost permanently drunk - sits upon the throne of Britain; Tsar Ivan the Terrible - entirely deranged - rules Russia; and President McDonald - a clown - controls America. Squabbling like children, they bring the world to the edge of nuclear Armageddon. But certain doubtful heroes would prevent the catastrophe: an ancient Greek warrior; a telepathic horse; a pot-bellied Taoist; and the most beautiful woman in the universe. Together they undertake a quest to find the Holy Football of the Last Match, which legend says can bring peace to the world. But quests aren't easy - not when crazed gods and jealous goddesses, bored aliens and devious assassins are out to get you.