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Throw into the mix a sister missing in Orgentina, a wife struggling to lose the weight from her orse and an interfering father-in-law living under my roof. You can see why, like the Son of God, my life had become a major hassle. And just when I thought it couldn't get any more difficult, a moment of madness involving - what else?

After his brush with death Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - schools rugby legend, award-winning author and lover of the ladeez - is back with a renewed lust for life - all thrillingly revealed in The Shelbourne Ultimatum. Ross wakes up from his coma to find a country that has changed beyond recognition. Shrewsbury Road has become a ghost estate. Marks and Spencer are selling microwavable coddle. And a Euro discount store is about to open in the Powerscourt Townhouse Centre. And he was only unconscious for twenty-four hours. But never mind all that. The main thing is that whoever tried to kill him...

Since inheriting a pile in Killiney, Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - schools rugby legend, lover of the ladeez and award-winning author - can add a new string to his not inconsiderable bow: lord of the manor. 'Downturn Abbey' is the story of how he tackles his new responsibilities. Or not.