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A parody. When old fart blogger Mormon Silver goes to interview young entrepreneur Bea Plastique, he encounters a woman who is stunning, smart, and scary. The unsophisticated, horny Silver is startled to realize he wants this woman (from behind, mostly) and, despite her mysterious love of ice hockey, finds he is desperate to get close to her (and honk her boobies). Unable to resist Silver's oral skills, silver chin fur, and argyle socks, Plastique admits she wants him, too-but on her own terms. Stunned yet delighted by Plastique's kinkiness, Silver hesitates. For all of her success-her...

You don't want a bad boy, my dear; at least not in the real world. You can fantasize all you like about a scruffy, Harley-driving, tattooed beast who does things you thought you'd never allow. But, you don't want to meet him, because eventually he's going to shit all over you, emotionally. You need a nice guy. Forget that nonsense about how anything worthwhile is worth working hard for. If you wanted to buy a horse you could ride around the neighborhood, you would never opt for a wild bronco that would scream, thrash, and resist every attempt you made to civilize him. You'd go for the broken...

A parody. When silver-chinned blogger, Mormon Silver, first met the horny and hungry young entrepreneur, Beatrice Plastique, it ignited a boff-fest that left mattress stains and sore hineys. Frightened, curious, and still hardened by Bea's twisted erotic tastes, Mormon struggles to keep up. Determined to match her raging sexual desire, he turns to ED medicine and adult toys.
Now, Bea and Mormon have it all: syrup, toe-curling orgasms, and a world of freaky kinkery ahead. But, Mormon knows that peeling her away from her evil grandmother and douchie ex, Chris, will pose challenges he could...

A parody. Frightened by the wacky desires and twisted history of the gorgeous, boob-a-licious, young mogul, Bea Plastique, Mormon Silver has ignored all warning signs, and asked for her hand in marriage.
Desire for Bea's butt still dominates his dreams, and when she proposes a route there, Mormon cannot resist. They continue their sweltering sexcapades, as Mormon learns more about the disturbing past of his hungry, obsessed, and insatiable lover.
While Bea wrestles with her sex toys, Mormon must deal with the fury and cock-blockage of her Grandmother, who came before her (of...

What is Nice Guy Syndrome?

Nice Guy Syndrome is an affliction where a heterosexual male is frustrated because he finds himself caged within the friend zone of women he'd prefer to be dating. Often, he is a kind and sympathetic person who listens well, and lends a shoulder for women to cry on. He's loved and admired, but not the type of fellow women sleep with.If there is a hell, this is it, and I'm in the penthouse.

I was raised to be a nice guy. My relatives and teachers instilled in me the importance of: Treating women gentlyProtecting and providing for womenListening to women without...

Strip a man near fifty of his marital obligations, transplant him into the treacherous dating scene of San Diego, and something funny happens. Enjoy 84 humorous essays about one man's struggle with relationships, love, and lifestyles on the West Coast.

Dating is a humorous struggle for a recently divorced man who has no clue what women want.

TOUR OF NICE GUY ISLAND

You single? How's that dating thing working out for you? Getting your recommended nightly allowance of love and affection? Or are you at the point where a bottle of Pinot, a good TV series, and a pet or two are all you need?

Thirteen years of being single, after thirteen years of marriage, has left me in a peculiar place-on Nice Guy Island.

I'm not the aggressive bad boy who hooks women with his mysterious behavior. I'm polite, kind, and considerate, which translates into "fucking boring" for far too many potential mates. Hence, all my paddling away...

Relationships - Who needs them?

Relationships have become more exhausting than exhilarating. Is it just me? When I'm single, I'm prowling for my love. It's costly to my sanity and to my wallet, trying to determine if she likes me--then doing things to make her like me more (and get naked). When I'm in a relationship, I'm juggling texts, dates, her family gatherings, and baseball, doing my best to avoid disappointing my lover.Is it better to be married or single?

Do you wonder what life would be like on the other side? When married, how peaceful single life could be. When single, how...

Is it true that nice guys finish last? It sure seems that way as a divorced man fights his way through a comedic dating scene. Will he ever find his soul mate? Phil has been called the male version of Carrie Bradshaw. Enjoy his humorous essays about relationships and the struggles we all have finding and keeping lovers. Women appreciate his open view into the minds of men. Artist Mike Swaim adds to the hilarity with his brilliant sketches, giving another dimension to Phil's quest for love.

So, you want a man?

Allow me to guide you through the jungle of hairy beasts.99% of your romantic relationships have failed.

You are the common denominator, so logic would say you suck at relationships.The problem isn't in the picker, it's in the picking.

In this book, I lend my expertise as the datee, not the dater. I'm the man who knows men, and how you can net the one you want (for the time being). True, we men are slightly different, so you need to approach your prey appropriately.Don't go hunting birds with hammers.

Let's say you'd like to date a married man whom, I assume,...

A divorced man continues his hilarious search for true love as he struggles to learn what women really want.

Love ... Who needs it?

I don't know if this just comes with age or what, but I'm less patient with my relationships, when I should probably be more patient. The first sign of any drama, no matter how sexually starved I happen to be, and I lose her number. Perhaps this makes me unpopular with the ladies. Maybe I'm getting a reputation.Meh

What I am hoping is that by reading my take on the whole mating game, you'll have a better appreciation for whatever predicament you're in, be that anything between marital bliss and been lovin' your fist.Karma Kicked Me

Sure, I'm bitter sometimes....

Do you know any nice guys? Perhaps you're married to or good friends with one. Well, consider the possibility that this nice guy is so frustrated with his relationship failures that he needs to vent to keep from turning into a bad boy with anger issues. Then, try not to spit hot coffee as you read his sarcastic rants about why men and women don't seem to fit.

Are you single? Divorced or widowed, perhaps? Are you having your second, third, or fourth go at soul mate searching? Me too Do you look around at paired-up peeps and wonder why you haven't been picked yet? Or, as I have learned, do you acknowledge the happy couple and snicker silently because you know where they're heading? In the eight years since my divorce, I've gone on hundreds of dates. Now, I could consider that a problem, which I should have taken responsibility for after failure, say, number twenty. On the other hand, I can see it as a natural process for someone with such...