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Jablonski revolutionizes Western thought via tangents and asides during the greatest road trip since Homer, unveiling the paradigm-shattering contributions of Petronius' Shovel(c), Petronius' Blender(c), Schadenfreude Before-the-Fact(c), Quietude(c), and Petronius' Garage(c). They take their rightful place in the pantheon above Occam's dull Razor, Plato's much-ballyhooed Cave, Aristotle's overrated Golden Mean, and Russel's leaky Teapot. (Also includes a blistering critique of the Phoenix legend). When his classic Pontiac is abducted by a deity who lives in the depths of Lake Michigan,...

Spy by night, blogger by day, Zelda Alpizar becomes infected by a contagion known to civilians as guilt, forcing her to choose between following orders or intervening to save two watchmen. Their trance-like lethargy makes them the ideal storage drives for a detonation code. Decrypting it could have lethal side-effects. Though the most important thing Zelda will ever find, the boundary between good and evil is of little value in a place where the only legend reads Here There Be Monsters. Security guards, harbingers of dawn, are they not warriors? Beneath the polyester Travis and Alex consist...