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As a child, Allen was like most other American boys, playing baseball and fantasizing about the major leagues. The one crucial ingredient missing: talent. The discovery of the opposite sex explodes the ballgame and he quickly foresakes his homerun heavy hitter hopes and focuses all his energy to become the focus of the pretty girls and the popular kids. Despite his efforts to stick out, he remains invisible.

Failing in his attempts to garner the attention of the most popular girl in school, or, for that matter, of pretty much anyone in his school, Allen decides the best method for...