Cherubim: How Hope Got Me to Survive

ISBN-13: 9781522796817 / Angielski / Miękka / 2015 / 106 str.

Maxim Vitalyevich Uskov; Christen Hanna Cioffi

Opis

Everyone has an outlet, and writing poetry is mine. When you read on you will see how my life, and writing style have changed since I was thirteen to now. The poems show the journey I went through, the pain I endured, and the heartbreak I had. My poetry was about the inner discoveries that I had. When I was six years old, I went deep into a manic depressive state. It started when I walked in on my mother trying to kill herself. Hearing her say Goodbye got me trapped. Then, at thirteen years old after I was first sexually assaulted is when I tried to end my life, which secured my manic-depressive reality. That's when I started to write. My poems were messages for myself. I would always tell my friends that I felt like I was not even the one writing them. I felt like something took me over. My poems gave me the strength I needed to break out of my chemically induced manic depression. Since I was thirteen years old I would torture myself and blame myself for all the pain that I was enduring. My poems were my inner self trying to leave clues so I could once again be happy. By stopping an addiction that I had for ten years, I finally became myself. I finally let go of the pain. I want to prove how my faith got me out of my chemically induced manic depression. From now on I will go on a journey to become closer to Hashem again. I will live the rest of my life as Menachem Mendel. The next book I publish will be called Belief. In May 2016 I will graduate with my under-graduate degree in Psychology, with a minor in Russian, Woman and Gender Studies, and a certification in LGBTQ Studies. After taking a few years off to complete my journey, I will obtain my P.h.D in Soul Psychology to be able to psychologically explain my belief in Hashem, and how Believing and having Hope got me out of my chemically induced Hell. "One moment of Torah and Mitzvot is Eternal. For through them you are bound to the eternal G-d and entirely transcend the boundaries of Time." - from 'Rebbe: The Life and Teachings of Menachem M. Schneerson, the Most Influential Rabbi in Modern History'.

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