"QUEEN ELIZABETH II IS DEAD... Thanks to the interdimensional revelations contained within Be Still, My Throbbing Tattoo, it is now possible to learn the truth about the deceased Queen and her reign of terror, including how she manipulated the media to make people believe a fairy story, how she spied on people via official portraits, and how she recorded their secret desires with banknotes. It is also possible to learn just how many deaths you have suffered during your wider existence, and how many worlds have been kept hidden from you by forces as dark as redactional rectangles."