If I were an animal there would be legislation to protect my home, but because I’m just a bloody human they can do whatever the f**k they like.

Welcome to the village of Syresham; it's not quite the Cotswolds. Townies have decided they want a lie in, so they're building a new high-speed railway. Issue is, it's going right through Barbara Honeybone's house, and she 'ent having none of it. Barbara's grandson Peter works for the townies and it's his job to convince the village that having a two-tonne bullet hurtling through their cabbage patches will actually be for the best. Then...