Ever since I set eyes on Shana at La Scala in Milan, something made of her had buried itself inside me, had become part of me but in a place I hadn't been aware existed. It constantly battled for recognition since then, rising from my depths, but the disciplinarian in me remained adamant. I rammed it down, back to the depths it had come from. Because it threatened me. I was anxious that it might be something I wouldn't be able to handle the way I always preferred to handle stuff - my way, and nobody else's but my way. The lads don't fall in love at first sight. They have sex the first chance...