One or the other will ask how one can live like this, but it was just as I have described it here. That I could end my suffering after a good 3 decades was not entirely clear to me how this was accomplished. But I won't try to fathom it either. That means I live now and without any burdens that this addiction brought with it. Of course, I don't know what the rest of my life will bring for me, but as I said, I've actually suffered enough.