Meet ETHELRED JONES, acclaimed film director of the bizarre; CLYTEMNESTRA, his beautiful 'bacterial' artist wife and the rest of this discordant quintet, the disgraced 'donor' doctor, CHARLES CONRAD CROSBY; the priapic black giant Man Friday named MONDAY and TRISOMY - a child old beyond her years - all melded together in the creation of the ultimate cinematic and art experience, STILL LIFE. Into this monstrous melange comes the unsuspecting OSWALD ARGENT, an aspiring thespian more narcissus than actor, who finds himself - literally - taking 'a step too far' when accepting a misleading role in...

Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds showed these creatures not to be our feathered friends but do the herons found in London's Hyde Park go out of their way to disprove this? Will DAVID and PETER really build their own nest or does the flighty, fledgling PETER have other plans? And while PETER plots and prevaricates with his own Mommy Dearest is the heroine of the Seventh Tale, the saccharine-inspired Mary Poppins, responsible for a spoonful of something else as opposed to sugar? As a besotted NIGEL COLLINS finds to his cost, for 'charm' read 'harm.' These cautionary tales - most with terrifying...