End Times Are Here
Now you can eat whatever you want and not care if you gain weight.

The president has announced that Earth is going to collide with a rogue moon, and in the process, our entire planet is going to be smashed to bits. As one would expect, upon hearing this news, humans went ballistic. It was as if every sports team in the world lost their championship game at the same time. No car was left unrolled--but oddly enough, Taco Bell remained open and made unfathomable profits in the last days. Apparently, Doritos Locos(R) Tacos were a...