There's little that's been written yet
Concerning teenage etiquette,
So as a sort of useful guide
Some gruesome cases lie inside
Of teenagers who lost their way
And ultimately had to pay.
You'll read about the tragic fate
Of Pete, who couldn't get a date,
And Jen, whose hopes and dreams were quashed,
And James, who staunchly never washed.
This book could be, and no mistake,
The best investment that you make,
So quickly - pluck it from the shelf
Or suffer some such fate yourself...