The first aliens to arrive on planet Earth were the Dorts. They were amoebalike and frighteningly large, but they did favor us with the Theory of Transformation-a brilliant advance over prior attempts by theoretical and particle physicists to create the ultimate, Unified Theory of Everything; but like all great theories, even theirs had limitations.

Centuries after the first Dorts arrived, Laura Shane was born. She reinterpreted the Dort Theory by giving it the "finishing touch" of her genius. It led to the faster than light removal of miles-deep, cone-shaped plugs from planet Earth. The...