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-What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
-How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle?
Shine a light in her ear.
-What's the definition of "making love"?
It's what a woman does while a man's screwing her.
-How does an Englishman know that his wife is dead?
Sex is still the same, but the dishes are piling up in the sink.
-What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk at the funeral.
-Why is a fat woman like a scooter?
They're...