Every now and then, an author comes along who writes the things everyone else is afraid to write, thinks the things others are afraid to think, and fantasizes about the things that would get anybody else slapped across the face. Kilgore Trout, Jr. is that author. And "Quickies" is a collection of five short, perverted stories about dirty, dirty girls doing dirty, dirty things. It includes: 1. "I was a Teenage Ass-Slut" 2. "The Haircut" 3. "Two Heads Are Better Than One" 4. "Employee of the Month" 5. "Redneck Roulette"

Who says money can't buy happiness? Not me. Here is the complete account of my search for love in all the wrong places. Believe it or not, it has a happy ending. Or two.

Ever since we met, my wife has been telling me how much she loves me - and my money. I make her prove just how much as often as possible.

When I caught my best friend Jessie's girlfriend cheating on him, I did what any good, red-blooded American man would do. I blackmailed her. And when my pal found out anyway, he gave her to me. These are some of our adventures.

This omnibus includes: "Over My Wife's Dead Body," "My Sister-in-Law's Mouth," "In her Sister's Footsteps," "My Sister-in-Law's Backdoor," and "Sister of Mercy." It chronicles all of the sordid adventures I have shared with my dead wife's sister.

As a professional educator, I know that life is full of hard lessons that are difficult to swallow. For many of my students, my penis was one of them. This dirty omnibus includes: "Like Mother, Like Daughter," "The Prom Date," "Taking One for the Team," "The Faculty Meeting," and "Making Daddy Proud."

This collection includes: "Four Eyes," "Worth the Wait," "Fat-Bottom Girls," "Selling My Pretty Little Sister," and "Cute Little Bookworm."