The year is 2003, and the New York Jankees-sorry, Yankees-have somehow snatched victory away from the valiant Boston Red Sox in the American League Championship Series. The horrid event sparks righteous anger up and down the Eastern Seaboard, but only Ima Schmucker, resident of Paradise-Can-Wait Retirement Home, has the distinct honor of being murdered over it.

No one at the home liked Ima, even before finding out he was a Yankees fan. Obscenely wealthy and sometimes just obscene, Ima went through a host of wives, many of whom had the good fortune to die unexpectedly before...