Beware This book is no idle talk. OPEN this book, ACT on the steps & the powers of a HIGHER DIMENSION are called in. These 13 Steps have been known to end bad relationships, cause massive career changes, lead to accusations of insanity, and put a complete stop to uncertainty and impotence. Don't open it unless you're ready Consider yourself warned. Learn how to SEE every detail of that PERFECT DAY coming up in your near future. Open your third eye and hear your own internal guidance, the HIGHER SELF Know what it feels like to GO FOR BROKE, allow SYNCHRONICITY to lead you right to the edge...

What Jenny wants is a man who carries all of her bags while he loves her with all of his heart. The soul mate, the twin flame, the creative partner... Yes, HIM Nevermind that she is already wrapped up in a seven-year dream of a bygone love affair. You can not tell the heart what to want She wants HIM to save her from her mid-life crisis, her mood swings and her vicious temper which has already cost her so many relationships. This is the hilarious tale of a woman who falls flat on her butt in love with HIM. He is a man half her age and homeless but Jenny's luck is good on that fateful day...

Dear reader, This book is a collection of my very personal life stories. These stories track major changes from my birth to a very active year in 2007. Each change was a painful death and a joyful rebirth. Not that the book is my Magnum Opus, but my life is my Magnum Opus, hence, Jenny Funkmeyer's Magnum Opus. There is a Chinese practice: speak your secrets into a hole in the ground and burry them. I disagree completely. I will speak my secrets to you here in this book. When I meet you I can be free to listen to yours. I know we will meet soon, for we're all one. With love, Jenny Funkmeyer

I am celibate and my husband's widest fantasy is to have sex with 300-600 women and, ah ham, men too. We came to the logical conclusion which is my husband can have sex with other people. It's OKAY with me (the Wounded Mother inside me says.) NO (The Black Witch inside me rages to chop him into tiny bits of meat.) F*CK HIM (The Prostitute inside me actually still wants to have.) I'M LONELY AND SOOOO SAD The Little Inner Child inside me waits around for him to come home. My soul is a big mess. I cry out for help That's when a Monk arrives to advise me how to practice UNCONDITIONAL LOVE....