I broke out into a cold sweat, and tried to cry. The tears would not fall, because I knew in my heart, that I had no one to blame for my situation but myself. I came from a good, loving family. I was never beaten or abused. We went on family vacations every summer. My childhood years could not have been more perfect. What was wrong with me? I looked closely into the mirror, and saw the dark circles beneath my eyes. I was underweight, and my long blonde hair was thinning. I looked away from the mirror quickly, and sat on the cold, tile floor of this cheap motel bathroom. My hand shook a bit as...

Like the saying goes, what goes up, must come down. I just wish it did not have to apply to my life all the time. I have always tried to be optimistic, but who was I trying to kid? My life was destined to be one disaster after another, and until I finally made the decision to change my lifestyle in every single way, things would never be any different. In the meantime, my life continued to revolve around a circle of ups and downs, existing mainly of downs. How could I have been so oblivious to my situation? Why didn't I have the strength to just stop, take a good look at my life, and realize...

HEROIN ADDICTION, THE LIFESTYLE, THE RECOVERY Book Three of a six book memoir series. Roses are red, violets are blue. If you shoot too much heroin, You'll soon be blue too... Please God, don't let me die in prison. My limp, blue body had just been dragged across the cold linoleum floored hallway, from another inmate's cell over to my own. I had been out of bounds, being injected with some of the heroin I had just received that day. The last thing I had remembered, was sitting on the toilet in Lisa's cell. She was having trouble finding a vein, so she went to my neck. I was now laying on the...

HEROIN ADDICTION, THE LIFESTYLE, THE RECOVERY You better be careful of what you wish for. That hunger, that craving, that need. That longing, and that fulfillment of satisfaction. It just might turn your life, into a living hell. At the very best, your worst nightmare. I so desperately wanted to be loved, accepted, and appreciated. I wanted to fit in. Somewhere. Anywhere. My self-esteem had dwindled down to nothingness. My fear of rejection, kept me at rock bottom. I thought Johnny was the one, that could fulfill my every dream, and my heart's desire. The one who would make everything right,...

Addiction, The Lifestyle, and The Recovery Book Five of The Sweet Melissa Memoir Series takes you deeper into the author's self-destructive cycle of addiction. It leaves you wondering why someone with so much potential and family support can become addicted to drugs, and the lifestyle that goes with it. The series contains many "triggers" and may not be suitable for the newly recovered. The series may help family members understand how easily one can get caught up in the vicious cycle of addiction. To others it may provide a sort of entertainment. The author's intent is to point out that no...