Sometimes it seems like we could use a good guidebook telling us what life is all about. How to avoid mistakes. How not to throw the baby out with the ... whatever. How to not ruin a good day with a fairly predictable disaster.

Well, sorry, that's not this book. One look at the quotes below from seven of this book's chapters should make it clear that the author managed to have quite a few remarkable follies. And there are twelve additional chapters we're not allowed to quote on this book cover.

I Got the Shoulder, but Gave Her the Look "Roughly half of all the girls in the school...