A kingpin. A doctor. A castaway. A miser. A spot-fixer. A thief. A gourmand. A scribe. A captain. All lost. All adrift. All Um Louts. The ex-players of The Um Louts, the finest five-a-side football team ever to grace the sandy Elms pitches in East London, have been flung to the four corners of the Earth. They each seek satisfaction in other walks of life away from the football field, but all they find is frustration and rage. But one by one they receive a calling that resounds deeply in their hearts and forces them to reassess the stagnation in their lives. What great force could it be that...