How do you feel about protecting the surface of your coffee table from unsightly wine rings? Because at the very least, this book could make a nice coaster for your glass. Very least, very most, whatever. I'm completely emotionally prepared for this book to get god-awful reviews. NOBODY WILL BUY THIS Note from the Publisher: This book is the ultimate multipurpose tool. Potentially lethal if thrown, highly flammable, and a delicious high fiber/low carb goat feed substitute. "Mat Devine is a genius. And also an idiot. Mostly an idiot." -Jude Angelini, Author (Hyena)

Mat Devine, lead singer of the band Kill Hannah, inadvertently began his own popular advice column after Fuse TV asked him to blog about his life on tour. Mat's humorous and touching column, aptly titled "The Raccoon Society," gained a lot of traction as his fans sought advice on serious issues such as alcoholism, bullying, and self-mutilation, while also touching upon lighter subjects like dealing with siblings, fashion, and going to prom. After seeing the sheer volume of wide-ranging questions flooding his inbox, Mat realized that the blog was no longer just an outlet for his road memoirs,...

At a very young age, Balthazar noticed a particular pattern in the behavior of his parents. The only time they ever seemed to occupy the same room was when one of his cherished goldfish would pass away, and he was in dire need of consolation. Thus began an odd fixation for him to continually innovate new and increasingly imaginative methods with which to dispatch each new aquatic pet.