Sid Tillsley, forty-six, is an alcoholic benefit fraudster from Middlesbrough. Hes sexist, homophobic, overweight, extremely lazy, and a dogger. However, one thing sets him apart from the rest of his fellow Northerners...

He can kill vampires with a single punch.

Meanwhile, in Northeast England, a monster has arisen, one that doesnt subscribe to Tits magazine. A vampire beast stalks the Yorkshire moors, mutilating and destroying everything in its path. The vampire elders fear the Firmamentum...