The author's desire to read the Bible and acquire a relationship with God, resulted in her becoming frustrated, and angry at the God in the Bible. Almost an atheist because of it, the author disliked that the peace of mind people promised her after reading the Bible, instead left her feeling fear and discontent. The author realized that, she did not need the Bible to seek a relationship with God, and shares the reasons she still has hope there is even a God at all. Monique believes that if people learn who the God in the Bible really is, they will find he's not the loving God they think.