This is a short, occasionally funny, book on how to solve and avoid application and/or computer performance problems. I wrote it to give back the knowledge, insights, tips, and tricks I was given over the last 25 years of my computing career. It shows practical ways to use key performance laws and gives well tested advice on how (and when) to do performance monitoring, capacity planning, load testing, and performance modeling. It works for any application or collection of computers because it teaches you how to decipher whatever meters they give you and how to discover more about those meters...