I, Drew Lloyd, long-time reader, first-time writer, decided to propose marriage to my patiently waiting girlfriend. This was an excellent decision. Besides committing myself to the perfect woman (Christa, my lobster) for life, I also committed myself to "being involved" in the planning of our wedding. This decision was not as resoundingly brilliant.

From "Will You?" to "I Do." is the tale of how I survived The Knot's checklists, unending service provider sales pitches, being kidnapped by our feline, seemingly hallucinogenic cake tastings, unrelenting parental input, and numerous...