Love is a horrible thing - horribly funny, often disgusting and totally inappropriate. In this 366 poem collection (one for every day), love is tampered with in ways that should disturb everyone. What will you find more disturbing: the total lack of respect; the ventures into the taboo; or the reflections of oneself found in the most gruesome of places? Make no mistake, this collection is for fun. I'll love you like a dog or an Irishman, with a bat or a fish, when you're looking or when there's a restraining order. If you are not offended at least once, this collection does not do its job....

Evoking the imagery of Roald Dahl if he were to fight his way out of a blender, Not a Princess and the Cow transgresses beyond the traditional fairy tale, empowering, inspiring, and befuddling young and old alike, though this twisted tale is especially well-suited for preteens and young adults. When a storm follows a young woman to a doomed king's door, the king sees hope for his kingdom for the first time in the form of a wife for his idiot son. The only problem is trying to prove she is a real princess. Invoking ancient wisdom, the king tries the old "squirrel in a pile of mattresses" trick...