ROMANCE NOVEL Smella Rosepetal must find a millionaire husband to finance her baby's heart transplant. She flies home to her father's ranch in Pitchforks, Texas, where she falls in love with Deadward Forest, a wealthy environmentalist vampire. When a deranged murderer is on the loose in Pitchforks, killing romance heroines, Deadward assumes Smella would be safer without him, so Smella goes on a perilous hunt for a rich husband. Time is running out for Smella's baby, and she must escape the Australian Outback, then face down Flabio, an overweight and disgruntled, aspiring cover model, plus...

Every Friday night Ruckus and his roommate Fred sneak out of Shady Grove Home for the Mentally Insane for a ride in their orderly's convertible. A trip to the used book store and Dairy Queen is Ruckus's one little routine among the chaos of pissing all over the lunch trays. There is nothing routine about Apple, another Shady Grove resident who wants to go joyriding with the boys. It quickly becomes obvious she has bigger plans than getting an ice cream cone- plans that could land them in jail or even worse. When their lives are threatened by three angry ex-cons and a crooked cop, it's up to...

Exposed Hillary Clinton's Secret Emails digs deep into her private correspondence from the time she and her husband left the White House to when someone finally had enough balls to complain she was jeopardizing national security. PJ reassures her readers these emails are the real deal. She got them from the Chinese guy who delivers her take-out, and everyone knows the Chinese are great at three things: sweet and sour pork, math, and hacking computers. Does Hillary get slammed in this parody? Absolutely. But no liberal or conservative is safe. PJ Jones pokes fun of people from both ends of...