When Neep Neep sets himself up as a pirate consultant he is not aware that the Golden Octopus, the local governing piratical body see hm as nothing as a nuisance to be disposed of. So Neep inadvertently sets in motion a chain of events that will involve him, The Scarlet Daisy (who has some very odd ideas of what comprises standard pirate dress), Mr Bones (very thin), Ensephilephtor Boom (founder member of the "Sons of the Pinched Fuse," and "Mad Dog" Jenkins (Mad. Very, very mad), in search of the lost treasure of Capability Jones and the lost island of El Bongo which most pirates agree...

"Hush. Hush now. Be still, for the library is ahead and the night grows dark. Listen to me well This commotion you make would drive away the most gregarious of spirits, make no doubt of that Come. Hold this candle and I shall strike a match. There. Yes, yes. I know that it is but a pauper's candle. You think that I cannot see how the flame is weak and guttering, the light it brings to this chill corridor pale and pallid? Yet it will suffice. Come. We must draw closer. My, how the library door creaks and moans from lack of oil when it opens. Please try not cry out when it slams shut behind...

"If you want to find number eighteen Cherry Hill Lane all you have to do is to ask a policeman when you spot one. He will push his helmet to one side, scratch his head as if considering your request carefully and then he will point his white gloved hand and say, "First to your left, take a second right, sharp right again and you are there. Good morning." If you press him further however then no doubt he would be more inclined to inform you of the recent terrible deeds that have taken place there. He may even remember to whisper details of the terrible black soot marks on the pavements outside...

Know, O prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the Sons of Hairyass, there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars - Hyperbolea and Bongia with its dark-haired women and towers of spider-haunted mystery, Stingia with its shadow-guarded tombs, Funkia whose riders wore mantles of silk and gold.* But the proudest Kingdom of the world was Aquaviti, reigning supreme in the dreaming west. Hither staggered Barf the Barbarian, black-haired, sullen-eyed,...

Tour of prehistoric caves in France with commentary. Illustrated.