How would it feel not to have the assurance of heaven? Christian or non Christian this is a crucial life question to ask yourself. As a Christian myself I have struggled with death and my own assurnace of heaven. At the age of 26 the Lord decided to get my attention through a personal awakening. I was institutionalized and later diagnosed with a mental illness. This is my true testimony of how I dealt with this psychological mental breakdown and how I finally realized that the Lord's love will never let me go especially during life's tragic moments.