What happens to a kid who isn't quite good enough with the force to be a Jedi? What is it like to live in the worst city in the United States? If we aren't allowed to test shampoo on monkeys, how will we ever know if our monkeys are clean? The answers to these and other questions can be found in The Force is Middling in this One, a raucous romp through the mind of author, software developer and gopher exterminator Robert Kroese. Laboriously compiled from three years of blog posts from MattressPolice.com, this collection covers topics as varied as the Incredible Hulk, perpetual motion machines...

Temptation Bangs Forever is a collection of over 200 of the most horrific and unintentionally hilarious church signs from over three years of submissions the the Crummy Church Signs blog. From the inexplicably hostile ("SATAN WILL RULE YOU ALL") to the cringe-inducing ("THE SIZE OF THE TOOL DOESN'T MATTER IN THE MASTER'S HAND"), these signs will have you shaking your head, gasping in horror, and laughing until you weep.

After a lowly software tester named Suzy Cilbrith uncovers evidence of a vast government conspiracy, she turns to a fringe reporter named Eddie Pratt for help. Far from dismissing her wild claims, Eddie reveals that things are even worse than they appear: the U.S. government has been infiltrated by angels, who are attempting to bring about Heaven on Earth - no matter the cost. Only one angel knows the secret to exposing the cabal: the rogue cherub known as Mercury. But when Mercury learns who is behind the cabal, he realizes he's going to need a lot of help. Old enemies become allies, old...

It's the year 2000 and the Silicon Valley city of Sunnyview is abuzz with the possibilities of vast fortunes to be made in the Dot Com boom. But to retired cop Benjamin Stone, who has come to Sunnyview to find his estranged daughter, Jessica, the promise of Sunnyview rings hollow. Benjamin grew up in Sunnyview in the 1950s, when it was a sleepy farming town, and he finds its modern day counterpart strange and weirdly insubstantial. After Jessica turns up dead in a creek bed, apparently murdered, Benjamin follows clues that suggest a conspiracy involving a startup company and a Silicon Valley...

Set a thousand years (give or take) before the events of Disenchanted, Distopia tells the story of Wyngalf the Bold, the legendary hero renowned for ridding the land of Dis of the scourge of dragons. The story begins as Wyngalf, a young missionary for an obscure religious sect, arrives in the port city of Skuldred. Desperate to prove his worth to his superiors, Wyngalf finds himself drafted into leading a missionary voyage across the sea to the semi-legendary land of Dis. Accompanied by a beautiful stowaway named Evena and an oddball goblin who has been shunned by his clan, Wyngalf is...

Four years after the destruction of the planeport, Earth remains cut off from Heaven. The angels and demons are in disarray, lacking direction and leadership. Someone has to step up and take control, and that person is... Mercury? But when the demoness Tiamat finds out about Mercury's plan to reestablish contact with heaven, all hell breaks loose. Mercury finds himself at the center of a plot to rewrite Earth's history, and the only way to stop it is to travel back in time to prevent the plot from coming to fruition. Along the way, he accidentally travels to multiple parallel universes,...