"Help My hair is the source of all my problems " No. I am the source of all your problems. There are people in this world who unwittingly create the realities they share with others. I create the delusions. I visited you on your fifth birthday, and I would have been there regardless of whether you'd had the party. I was the monster you prayed to in public restrooms after your parents decided you were old enough to pee alone. Remember the night I babysat for you and recruited you into extremism? You probably don't. We didn't talk much. I check in on you every so often to see how you've...