The book describes the author's early years and his gradual descent to the bottom of the job market which encouraged him to join the Royal Navy to try to improve his career prospects. It covers his time as Vice Consul at the British High Commission in Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia) between 1991 and 1994 and describes some of the interesting Consular and Visa cases which he had to deal with. It also describes his love affair with the daughter of a Headhunter's daughter and his visits to her Longhouse deep in the interior of East Malaysia on the island of Borneo close to the Indonesian border.