I WANT MY MAMA!
Even when I was with her, it never felt quite natural to call her Mama. I always just tried to phrase sentences so I did not have to call her anything in particular. It made talking easier. Some conversations made me feel loved and some just hurt my heart afresh. I remember what I felt when she said she was at the hospital when I was really sick with pneumonia as an infant. I listened with skepticism, and then realized that she was really there. She had been part of my life in the ways she thought was best. She was there after all.