In Ant Farm, former Harvard Lampoon president Simon Rich finds humor in some very surprising places. Armed with a sharp eye for the absurd and an overwhelming sense of doom, Rich explores the ridiculousness of our everyday lives. The world, he concludes, is a hopelessly terrifying place-with endless comic potential.

-If your girlfriend gives you some "love coupons" and then breaks up with you, are the coupons still valid?

-What kind of performance pressure does an endangered male panda feel when his captors bring the last remaining female panda to his cage?

-If murderers...

After a riotous debut collection, Ant Farm, Simon Rich returns to mine more comedy from our hopelessly terrifying world. In the nostalgic opening chapter, Rich recalls his fear of the Tooth Fairy ("Is there a face fairy?") and his initial reaction to the "Got-your-nose" game ("Please just kill me. Better to die than to live the rest of my life as a monster"). He gets inside the heads of two firehouse Dalmatians who can't understand their masters' compulsion to drive off to horrible fires every day ("What the hell is wrong with these people?"). And in the final chapter, he...

God decides to close up shop on Earth -- unless two idealistic angels can make a miracle happen
Welcome to Heaven, Inc., the grossly mismanaged corporation in the sky. For as long as anyone can remember, the founder and CEO (known in some circles as "God") has been phoning it in. Lately, he's been spending most of his time on the golf course. And when he does show up at work, it's not to resolve wars or end famines, but to Google himself and read what humans have been blogging about him.

When God decides to retire (to pursue his lifelong dream of opening an Asian Fusion restaurant),...

"No matter how zany things get, there's an endearing simplicity at the heart of these inventive tales.... Love doesn't always conquer all, but these stories suggest Rich thinks its certainly ought to."--Daily Beast
Love can be messy, painful, and even tragic. When seen through the eyes of Simon Rich it can also be hilarious.
In these ingenious stories, Rich conjures up some unforgettable romances: an unused prophylactic describes life inside a teenage boy's wallet; God juggles the demands of his needy girlfriend with the looming deadline for earth's creation; and a lovestruck...

A hilarious yet reassuring back-to-school picture book by humorist, novelist, and TV writer Simon Rich-a clever and sweet follow-up to I'm Terrified of Bath Time, where a child's backpack frets about first-day-of-school jitters!