In this madcap romp through the life of a typical senior citizen, author S. L. Varnado discusses his problems with telephone menus that fail to connect him with a living person, computers that refuse to compute, and HMOs that motivate him to seek assisted suicide.

As Varnado shares his difficulties with a "satanic" television set that brings in the Beverly Hillbillies speaking French, diets that lead to slow death by starvation, "aerobic exercises" that take the wind out of you, and "ghetto blasters" that wake the neighborhood at midnight, it becomes apparent that an elderly person's...