Maxine Dorfman has it all--sagging jowls, chubby elbows, sexual batteries that need repair, and frustrating fantasies about Burt Lancaster and her dentist, Dr. Ronald Kertler. But, there are two things she does not have: the notorious, hooked Kleinkopf nose that runs in her family, and a faithful husband. Mel, her laid-off CPA husband dumps her for an older woman--a sixty-five-year-old woman. Maxine is left on ground zero in denial, depressed and addicted to macadamia nuts.

Hope arrives in the form of Connie Piccini, her best friend who encourages a reluctant Maxine to sign up for "Earth...