There was a point in my life (I have to believe) when I would have showered, thoroughly, had someone just urinated on me in the middle of the night. Somewhere between the birth of your first child and the day your nest empties, your standards change. Suddenly, a simple bath with hand sanitizer (or a warm wet-wipe) is acceptable before crawling back to bed. Children have a way of altering your perceptions. Having children invade your life (untreated) can lead to mental instability. As such, the essays and stories that follow are therapy of sorts. They are my way, from a seat on a plane or a...