Eat healthy and live to be 100?
Screw that.
Why choke down bland, mushy, steamed veggies and brown rice when there's so much fat-laden, calorie-rich, heart-bursting cuisine out there to be savored? Because you want to live? So you can spend your golden years wandering aimlessly around a Florida shopping mall and eating dinner at 2 in the afternoon? So your rotten kids can plop you into some hellhole of a nursing home the minute you forget what day it is?
Go ahead, triple your cholesterol and triglyceride counts, and clog those arteries. You'll never get out of this world...