As the editor of Harper's Magazine, Lewis Lapham has enjoyed entree to America's "cultural elite," a class distinguished by its talent for currying favor, licking boots, and kissing ass. Now, in this scathingly funny and politically incorrect self-help book, Mr. Lapham offers his best advice to aspiring careerists seeking to ride in helicopters and see themselves on television.

Drawing upon a lifetime of experience among the cogno-scenti, Mr. Lapham breaks rank and reveals the unspoken secrets of getting ahead: what to say, how to dress, when to lie, whom to befriend, where to be...

This fascinating book is a must-Read for any Twain enthusiast" - Andy Borowitz In fall 1891, Mark Twain headed for Berlin, the "newest city I have ever seen," as America's foremost humorist wrote; accompanied by his wife, Olivia, and their three daughters. Twain, a "Yankee from head to toe," according to the Berlin press, conspired with diplomats, frequented the famed salons, had breakfast with duchesses, and dined with the emperor. He also suffered an "organized dog-choir club," at his first address, which he deemed a "rag-picker's paradise," picked a fight with the police, who made him look...