Why couldn't the Sopranos survive living down South? Simple. You can't shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes.

What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce? When daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in their pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again.

What is the Southern woman's opinion of a new "fat virus" theory? Bring it on We've got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on.

In this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling novel Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes...

Celia Rivenbark is an intrepid explorer and acid commentator on the land south of the Mason-Dixon Line. In this collection of screamingly funny essays, you'll discover:

*How to get your kid into a character breakfast at Disney World (or run the risk of eating chicken out of a bucket with Sneezy)
*Secrets of Celebrity Moms (don't hate them because they're beautiful when there are so many other reasons)
*ebay addiction and why "It ain't worth having if it ain't on ebay"
*Why today's children's clothes make six-year-olds look like Vegas showgirls with an abundance of anger...

From the wickedly hilarious pen of Southern humorist Celia Rivenbark comes a collection of essays that brings to mind Dave Barry (in high heels) or Jeff Foxworthy (in a prom dress).

Step into the wacky world of "womanless wedding" fund-raisers, in which Bubbas wear boas. Meet two sisters who fight rural boredom by washing Budweiser cans and cutting them into pieces to make clothing. Learn why the word snow sends any right-thinking Southerner careening to the Food Lion for extra loaves of bread and little else.

Humor columnist and slightly crazed belle-by-birth Celia...

Hang on to your hats We're in for some fiercely funny weather and crackling-sharp observations from Celia Rivenbark, of whom USA Today has said, "Think Dave Barry with a female point of view." With her incomparable style and sassy southern wit, you'll hear from Celia on:

- The joys of remodeling Tara
- How Harry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy Drew
- Britney's To-Do list: pick okra, cover that thang up
- How rugby-playing lesbians torpedoed beach day
- Why French women suck at competitive eating
- The truth about nature deficit disorder
- The difference...

From the author of the bestselling classics We're Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you'll shoot co'cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as:

- Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate

- How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life

- Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering

- Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that?

- Get yer Wassail on: It's carolin' time

- Airlines serving up one hot mess

- Action figure Jesus

- Why...

From the bestselling, award-winning author of You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start In The Morning, comes another collection of hilarious observations that will resonate with women, mothers, and girlfriends everywhere

In her newest wickedly irreverent humor collection, Celia Rivenbark cracks up while getting her downward facing dog on, pines for a world in which every mom gets to behave like Betty Draper and wonders why everybody's so excited about the Science Fair when there aren't even any rides. In it you'll find essays on such topics as:
- Menopause Spurs...

In this always sensible and mildly profane etiquette manual for the modern age Celia Rivenbark addresses real-life quandaries ranging from how to deal with braggy playground moms to wondering if you can have sex in your aunt's bed on vacation to correctly grieving the dearly departed (hint: it doesn't include tattoos or truck decals). Rude Bitches Make Me Tired will provide answers to all your mannerly questions as Celia discusses the social conundrums of our day and age, including:

Navigating the agonies of check splitting ("Who had the gorgonzola crumbles and should we really...