Have you got something to complain about? Have you been short changed? Have you complained and got nothing but hollow apologies? Are you due compensation? Then this book could help. Instead of writing letters using red biro and block capitals, underlining every other word, swearing at inappropriate places and writing key words twice as big, follow the 'I want to complain' philosophy and make your letters entertaining; make the person dealing with your complaint want to help you instead of shoving your letter under the pile of others they have to deal with that day and getting to it 'later'....

Did Wayne Fereday ruin your life? Was Silvio Maric directly responsible for your high dentist bills due to the constant gnashing and grinding of your molars? Did Billy Askew's hair give you nightmares or did the merest mention of Alain Boumsong's name have the same effect as the aftermath of a Vindaloo? Then this is the book you've been waiting for. Relive all your least favourite Newcastle United moments by taking a journey back through the labyrinth of frustration, disillusionment and failure that is Newcastle United's worst ever players. Grimace, cringe and wince as you take a trip down...

Did Francis Jeffers ever keep you awake at night? Did you slap yourself in the face each time you witnessed an Eric Djemba-Djemba attack-splitting pass? Did Titus Bramble cause you to eat your match programme in frustration? Then this is the book you've been waiting for. Relive all your least favourite Premier League moments by taking a journey back through the maze of frustration, disillusionment and failure that is the Premier League's worst ever players. Grimace, wince and sob as you take a trip down the derelict end of memory lane, through a history of the Premier League's most inept,...

Do you believe in fate? Do you believe that your life is mapped out for you? What if your fate was actually determined by something small - something like, what counter you used in a game of monopoly? That certainly seems the case for Troy Thompson, a former F1 driver who now drives Taxis (because he missed the high speeds and risk taking) and used to be the little pewter car when he played Monopoly with five others back at the Silver Sands Caravan Park in Whitley Bay, in 1985. Now, twenty-five years later, the six friends are drawn back to the camp by something - something ethereal,...

If you've supported Newcastle United long enough you will have experienced every single emotion that it is possible for a human being to feel. You'll know how it feels to win 8-0 despite being bottom of the league and you'll know the delight of winning a game at Highbury, outplaying the opposition in the process. However, you'll also know the desolation of losing 7-3 with a team of 11 supposed internationals, the pain that is seeing Frank Pingel introduced as a second half substitute because he is better than what's already out there and you'll wince at the names of Graeme Fenton and Ronnie...

Have you ever heard a song on the radio and thought, 'did they say what I thought they just said' and then realised that they did and thought, 'I can do better than that'? Then this is the book for you. We might not be able to stop banal, idiotic and nonsensical lyrics being written and hidden under lovely melodies but we can point them out, laugh at them and have a good moan about how much money they've made for the lazy writer. So come with me now on a journey through the most cringeworthy, pointless and frankly wierd lyrics and couplets ever unleashed on the music buying public from the...