So let's get this straight. This is a story about romance. Well, it's not a story. I mean, it's not something somebody made up. It's about me. And yeah, in case you're wondering, I'm a guy. Surprised? Sure you are. You figure those words just don't go together. Romance, with a capital R. Guy, with a capital G. You're probably sitting there and smirking. What could a dude possibly know about romance? You figure we're big on sex. But romance? You're right. Romance is not a male thing. And that's exactly my problem. The bottom line is that whatever you think you know about men and romance is...