You're a deviant, but not a pervert. So how can you make your special contribution?

Virgo

You're here to roll up your sleeves and pitch in, and when you find your true calling, it won't be work. If you think the world owes you a living, get help.

Gemini

You're a human fiber optics cable. Staying connected to everyone, but not scattered and skitzed out -- that's the trick.

Vanity Fair's hip and wickedly funny columnist knows your naughtiest, darkest obsessions. He also knows where you can find the road to...