1. A history of narrative phylogenetics; 2. From archetypes to ancestors; 3. The emergence of lineage thinking; 4. Ernst Haeckel's evolutionary storytelling; 5. The epistemic rise of hypothetical ancestors; 6. Intuiting evolution; 7. Telling straight stories with fossils; 8. Seeing animal ancestors in embryos; 9. Ancestral attractions and phylogenetic folklore; 10. Narrative shortcuts and phylogenetic faux pas; 11. Taxic distortions of lineage thinking; 12. Making sense with stories.