Climbing Back

ISBN-13: 9781499755862 / Angielski / Miękka / 2014 / 242 str.

Gilly Mara

Opis

As I sit on the start line of my World Championship race, I watch the waves in front of me and hear the water tapping on my boat. I close my eyes and visualise the rapids ahead of me and confirm what path I am going to paddle down to achieve the fastest line down the race course. I glance to my left to see the clock counting me down, thirty seconds to go. I lift my shoulders up and down to release the tension and I try to calm my thoughts and reduce my racing heart. Fifteen seconds to go, I take a deep breath and then take a moment to smile. On the 28th of August 2002, I was 20 years old and I found myself staring at a very different view. I was looking at the top of a mountain watching the sun set around me. My heart was pounding and my breathing heavy. I had no method to release the tension or sense of danger I felt. Hours earlier I had fallen approximately 200feet and was now lying on my side curled in a ball. I wondered if I would make it through the night. Shivering from the cold and shaking with pain, I was alone and scared, I could only hope my friend had managed to reach the bottom and raise the alarm. I longed to have my friends around me and more than anything I wish I could be sitting on a river in my kayak. I wished I could turn back the clock and have a second chance. I was on the verge of achieving a childhood dream of representing my country at the Student World Championships in Canoeing. I knew there was no way that was going to happen now or maybe never again. Rather than fighting for a world ranking I was now fighting for my life. After surviving the night, I thought I could relax and perhaps open my eyes and the nightmare I was having would stop. How wrong could I have been. As I lay in hospital, feeling like my world had ended, I was told 'you have to want to get better.' The words stuck with me and from that moment I decided I didn't want to learn to walk again I wanted to run, as to run you had to walk. My physical recovery was easy compared to the emotional rollercoaster I went through in understanding the events that led to my fall and the aftermath that followed. When I first got back in a kayak, everything was different, movements that came with ease before were hard and no longer natural. Stubborn, I stuck with it and was determined to prove to everyone I could be as good as I was before. It took many years to realise that actually using this as a motivation to achieve a goal would only get you so far in completing it. I learnt how hard you have to fight to reach your goal and in getting there I had to stop seeing problems as barriers but more as challenges, as a challenge can be overcome. The journey taken from the fall itself to describing in detail the events that led to it, form an emotional account of the day that changed my life forever. How it shaped me and the attitude I took in dealing with it pushed me to exceed expectation and got me to achieve my childhood dream. De-shelving the emotion and putting all the events together for my own understanding has been a jigsaw puzzle that has taken over a decade. The how and why did I do what I did have plagued me for years. I played down the events as I felt it was something people didn't want to hear nor did I want them to see me for what I felt was my weakness and lowest point. After beginning to open up, I found it helped my mental recovery and actually I should be proud of what I went on to achieve. I hope the openness will inspire you to achieve your dreams, but most importantly remember as a good friend once said to me, 'don't forget to smile and appreciate the journey.' This is why I smiled and as the final five beeps begin, I say to myself, enjoy it.

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