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Hiring a nanny-and getting along with her afterward-may be one of the most important things that parents do, yet many of us approach the whole business with fear and trembling, or at least a lot of questions. Even parents who may manage dozens of employees at work can be at a loss when it comes to dealing with the person who will be looking after their children.

Nanny, au pair, caregiver-no matter the term, the thorny issues remain the same:

-How do you find someone you like and trust?
-Should you invite the nanny to Thanksgiving dinner?
-When should you raise her...