Angello Wellson-Noble is an underground researcher and rogue Intelligent Design scientist. His theories are so controversial, nay, dangerous that he has been forced to keep his findings secret for the past thirty years. In this volume he has made the culmination of that research available for the first time outside of secret meetings, cryptically worded PostIt notes, and backroom Scrabble games. Mr. Wellson-Noble enjoys the outdoor sports of survivalism, hunting, and [redacted]. He enjoys the indoor sports of pipe collecting, Scrabble, and uncovering the secrets of worldwide conspiracies.