Wagner was born in Germany and emigrated to the U.S. in 1947 and studied literature and history at the University of Colorado (B.A.) and the University of Denver (M.A.). She spent over 30 years in various areas of mental health work. For the last 16 years she has been providing bereavement care and grief support, often by telephone. She had a daughter who died of suicide at age 18 and a son drowned at age 3.